As we approached Christmas last year, my natural thoughts returned to my own caring experience at this joyous and festive time
- a time my wonderful wife loved to bits throughout our 40 years of marriage - but ending with her gradual decline through the terror of living with dementia…what emotions, what memories.
I know how difficult it is when you are isolated in your domestic bubble, trying your best to care yet faced with another 24 hours, hoping that someone might visit even for a few minutes. So, picture this life situation for two loving people, faced not only with the above but also being surrounded by the spectre of COVID-19, and all it has brought with it this last year!
I'm involved with various Dementia Support Groups, and despite them being closed for the duration, we try to remain in contact with Carers as and when possible.
I have found over the months that whilst a phone call may be better than nothing, ‘face to face', even at distance, is far more beneficial to both the Carer and their loved one.
I would like to share the profound impact COVID-19 has had on Carers and the cared-for, with comments from those who have freely given permission to share with others:
As the week's progressed (name) started to miss all the groups I take him to, but he doesn't understand the situation and why we have stopped going. He's lost all motivation despite all my efforts, so I've given up.
What upsets me most is that he no longer has any interest in anything, whatever I say or do he contradicts, everything is my fault
For me the experience has been frustrating, emotional, lonely and exhausting, just a few adjectives to describe the situation which has been far more intense than usual.
At times it has felt like everyone has just disappeared (which I know isn;t totally true), and not having someone to chat with face to face becomes increasingly difficult, phone calls can't replace that personal interaction
I feel I might also have become more insular, and I;ve lost some of the emotion, which I find sad
Trying to stop him sleeping the days away
Trying to keep him motivated, physically active and healthy
Loneliness for me too, despite the constant work involved with caring for him, made more difficult by the lack of any respite
Mental health issue for me and (name), it is an emotional rollercoaster
He is totally reliant on me and that won;t change after lockdown either, he won't remember how he was before will he?
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